I hate that you piss me off
And I hate how I act when you piss me off.
You don't have a reason to piss me off.
Your presence alone just pisses me off.
I don't know what you do to piss me off.
I don't know if it's just a habitual piss off.
I know it's absurd that you piss me off.
I know that I'm cruel when you piss me off.
I hate that I'm mean when you piss me off.
I hate what I say when you piss me off.
I hate what I do when you piss me off.
You just do it so flawlessly, piss me off.
You flip a bloody switch and you piss me off.
I don't know how you can so easily piss me off.
I think it's because: I love you.
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Dedicated to my unfortunate little brother, who always pisses me off.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
The things I don't know
I hate when I don't know something! To think that my friends have kept this from me for who knows how long. Months, maybe years. I know that they were dissatisfied, with life. Always wanting to leave, to run away from where they are now, at this moment in time. They hated it. The way that they were perceived by their families. The torment that came from the ever present mirror. Why couldn't they walk by and see beauty, life; I saw their beauty, their life.
They were both strong willed girls. They knew what they wanted, never backed down, never would let anyone walk all over them ever. Not a boy, not a "friend". They were witty as you wouldn't believe. They would piss me off sometimes at how fast they were to a comeback that left me breathless with laughter, so I had no time to react. So why? Why can't they love themselves the way that I love them. Why can't they see how special that they are no matter what their outer appearance. Why can't they accept the loveliness that radiates from them, that silences me; in AH when I witness the strength that protects me from harsh verbal blows of a passing bully or a jackass on the side of the street. Why can't they see how beautiful that they really are to me.
Why do they cut themselves? Why did I never know? Why couldn't I help them the way that they help me, the way that they save me from my own loneliness, the way that they always knock me off my white horse and lay reality right before my feet; with their lashes of constant complaint. Well they have done it once again. Taken me away from the folly troubles of my other friends: dealings of "love", a bad hair day, a fleeting crush, singality; they once again make me see that life isn't just cookie cutter pleasant, and that we all don't just go about our business happily. It's all an act, but they never wear masks with me, and now I see that I can't just sit back any more, that they aren't the glorious deities that always save me. I have to come to their aid now, battle ready, I have to try and be by their side now, because they aren't shining; now, I have to be the strong one.
They were both strong willed girls. They knew what they wanted, never backed down, never would let anyone walk all over them ever. Not a boy, not a "friend". They were witty as you wouldn't believe. They would piss me off sometimes at how fast they were to a comeback that left me breathless with laughter, so I had no time to react. So why? Why can't they love themselves the way that I love them. Why can't they see how special that they are no matter what their outer appearance. Why can't they accept the loveliness that radiates from them, that silences me; in AH when I witness the strength that protects me from harsh verbal blows of a passing bully or a jackass on the side of the street. Why can't they see how beautiful that they really are to me.
Why do they cut themselves? Why did I never know? Why couldn't I help them the way that they help me, the way that they save me from my own loneliness, the way that they always knock me off my white horse and lay reality right before my feet; with their lashes of constant complaint. Well they have done it once again. Taken me away from the folly troubles of my other friends: dealings of "love", a bad hair day, a fleeting crush, singality; they once again make me see that life isn't just cookie cutter pleasant, and that we all don't just go about our business happily. It's all an act, but they never wear masks with me, and now I see that I can't just sit back any more, that they aren't the glorious deities that always save me. I have to come to their aid now, battle ready, I have to try and be by their side now, because they aren't shining; now, I have to be the strong one.
Monday, December 21, 2009
those kids on the bus
So for the past couple of days there have been these kids on the bus. They think their all funny, and maybe they are, but I'm not on the side of their spectrum, the side that says, 'whatever this guy is saying no matter wat i have to laugh at.'
Personally I think that kid, their ring leader, is an ass hole. (cough cough)
He's not funny, it's actually pretty sad how him and his asian side kick, go ahead and make fun of this other kid. Callin her burnt chicken and all that jaz. This girl is pretty damn strong, but the thing that bothers me is that as soon as we step off the bus she rants and raves about fatzo and robin. On and on bout their stupid jokes and what not.
Now she will get two main types of advice:
"You come up with a good come back and those jacks will shut their faces up," and "don't start anything with them, they'll stop,"
Now depending on your personality, you will agree with one or the other or come up with your own funky pov, and me being the conservitive, but stricktly honest type i would go with number two. Yeah, it may be the wosy was out, but I am non confrontational because I see it as beneith me, and I say if you can come up with a good enough game plan, and stick it out you'll have those dogs lickin out of the palm of your hand.
So, since this girl talks big but doesn't act unless she knows the terms that she is on, she doesn't say anything, and what happens, they don't say nothing. Sure she spases out at the little kid on the bus who calles her darkness, but I mean I think it all turned out pretty well.
<3
Personally I think that kid, their ring leader, is an ass hole. (cough cough)
He's not funny, it's actually pretty sad how him and his asian side kick, go ahead and make fun of this other kid. Callin her burnt chicken and all that jaz. This girl is pretty damn strong, but the thing that bothers me is that as soon as we step off the bus she rants and raves about fatzo and robin. On and on bout their stupid jokes and what not.
Now she will get two main types of advice:
"You come up with a good come back and those jacks will shut their faces up," and "don't start anything with them, they'll stop,"
Now depending on your personality, you will agree with one or the other or come up with your own funky pov, and me being the conservitive, but stricktly honest type i would go with number two. Yeah, it may be the wosy was out, but I am non confrontational because I see it as beneith me, and I say if you can come up with a good enough game plan, and stick it out you'll have those dogs lickin out of the palm of your hand.
So, since this girl talks big but doesn't act unless she knows the terms that she is on, she doesn't say anything, and what happens, they don't say nothing. Sure she spases out at the little kid on the bus who calles her darkness, but I mean I think it all turned out pretty well.
<3
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Coffee
CLANG!
The girl didn't turn towards the sound thinking it was the noisy boy in the back. Suddenly a string of profanities came out of the mouth of the woman sitting beside her. Her head snapped over toward the scene of the crime; her arms jet out to stop the cascading liquid from creating anymore damage. A bitter sweet trickle of black, early-morning goodness, ran down the girls hand and she licked it off. The woman continued to scream, telling the girl to see if her papers where messed up. Befuddled by the early morning massacre of words the girl flicked on the car light, screamed at the woman to keep her eyes on the road, and continued to salvage what was left from the wreckage. Not finding anything wrong, she reported to the woman who told her to check again. Seeing that the woman was in a mood and blaming it on "the change" she checked again, and found nothing wrong again. The woman started to yell at her. Blamed her for so carelessly leaving her coffee lying where it could so easily spill. The girl took in a deep breath getting ready for the tiring early morning battle, but then she stopped.
A wave of calm suddenly spread over her, and she reassessed the scene. 'It's a B day, my bad day, do I really want to start with this so early in the morning' she asked herself. 'no'. She settled back into her chair and lay her head down against the window. The woman was still going on, but she was someplace far away now. It was only the girl, the blurred early morning landscape, her apple for breakfast, and her mug of coffee.
The girl didn't turn towards the sound thinking it was the noisy boy in the back. Suddenly a string of profanities came out of the mouth of the woman sitting beside her. Her head snapped over toward the scene of the crime; her arms jet out to stop the cascading liquid from creating anymore damage. A bitter sweet trickle of black, early-morning goodness, ran down the girls hand and she licked it off. The woman continued to scream, telling the girl to see if her papers where messed up. Befuddled by the early morning massacre of words the girl flicked on the car light, screamed at the woman to keep her eyes on the road, and continued to salvage what was left from the wreckage. Not finding anything wrong, she reported to the woman who told her to check again. Seeing that the woman was in a mood and blaming it on "the change" she checked again, and found nothing wrong again. The woman started to yell at her. Blamed her for so carelessly leaving her coffee lying where it could so easily spill. The girl took in a deep breath getting ready for the tiring early morning battle, but then she stopped.
A wave of calm suddenly spread over her, and she reassessed the scene. 'It's a B day, my bad day, do I really want to start with this so early in the morning' she asked herself. 'no'. She settled back into her chair and lay her head down against the window. The woman was still going on, but she was someplace far away now. It was only the girl, the blurred early morning landscape, her apple for breakfast, and her mug of coffee.
Friday, September 18, 2009
i'm pissed 9/18
So it's friday and of course there's somethin wronge with my brother, there always is. He has this weird spot in his eye, and my mom says we have to go see the eye doctor and she's really far away. I'm like "that one all the way out there?" and she starts yellin at me. Now when people yell at me I don't tend to get scared it pisses me off, and when I'm really mad I start to cry so there I was telling her to calm down cause I didn't mean anything by it and she's just yelling at me; so i'm there yellin at her and eventually I just walk away cause i'm basically done with the screwed convorsation. So later she comes up to me and says "You don't go and bother any grown up like that because if you do they'll box you down" and at that moment I can honestly tell you I wanted to pop her in the face that's how pissed I was. Now I'm thinking that I'd like to take karate of kick boxing just so I can punch something. Urg!!!!!!!
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