The things I don't know

I hate when I don't know something! To think that my friends have kept this from me for who knows how long. Months, maybe years. I know that they were dissatisfied, with life. Always wanting to leave, to run away from where they are now, at this moment in time. They hated it. The way that they were perceived by their families. The torment that came from the ever present mirror. Why couldn't they walk by and see beauty, life; I saw their beauty, their life.

They were both strong willed girls. They knew what they wanted, never backed down, never would let anyone walk all over them ever. Not a boy, not a "friend". They were witty as you wouldn't believe. They would piss me off sometimes at how fast they were to a comeback that left me breathless with laughter, so I had no time to react. So why? Why can't they love themselves the way that I love them. Why can't they see how special that they are no matter what their outer appearance. Why can't they accept the loveliness that radiates from them, that silences me; in AH when I witness the strength that protects me from harsh verbal blows of a passing bully or a jackass on the side of the street. Why can't they see how beautiful that they really are to me.

Why do they cut themselves? Why did I never know? Why couldn't I help them the way that they help me, the way that they save me from my own loneliness, the way that they always knock me off my white horse and lay reality right before my feet; with their lashes of constant complaint. Well they have done it once again. Taken me away from the folly troubles of my other friends: dealings of "love", a bad hair day, a fleeting crush, singality; they once again make me see that life isn't just cookie cutter pleasant, and that we all don't just go about our business happily. It's all an act, but they never wear masks with me, and now I see that I can't just sit back any more, that they aren't the glorious deities that always save me. I have to come to their aid now, battle ready, I have to try and be by their side now, because they aren't shining; now, I have to be the strong one.